something happened and me as usual went to think about it.
nothing serious actually. but just being negative and thinking of all the unhappy things.
I don’t know, I came to realize I’m actually really weak and useless.
I love and care for my friends.
However, when they are leaving me, I didn’t had the courage to keep them.
I’m afraid of losing them even though I do not know how to keep them by my side.
I have this bad habit that if a friend is leaving me, i will let them go and widen the gap between us.
then in the end, I lose all the friends I care for.
it always happen to me, every time.
and I feel that there is nothing I can do.
I think I’m really useless.
Just because I dun wan to be hurt, I prefer to keep quiet.
I hate confrontation.
Then I can self assume that the friendship died because we dun hang out anymore.
I’m selfish. really selfish.
I’m actually someone who is afraid of changes.
So when i find out people changed, especially friends, which leads to our friendship being affected, I get emo.
I feel that my friends are leaving me because I didn’t put in effort to keep them by my side
it always happen. always.