Nakama?

Friends.
something happened and me as usual went to think about it.
nothing serious actually. but just being negative and thinking of all the unhappy things.
I don’t know, I came to realize I’m actually really weak and useless.

I love and care for my friends.
However, when they are leaving me, I didn’t had the courage to keep them.
I’m afraid of losing them even though I do not know how to keep them by my side.

No confidence.
I have this bad habit that if a friend is leaving me, i will let them go and widen the gap between us.
then in the end, I lose all the friends I care for.
it always happen to me, every time.
and I feel that there is nothing I can do.

I think I’m really useless.
Just because I dun wan to be hurt, I prefer to keep quiet.
I hate confrontation.
Then I can self assume that the friendship died because we dun hang out anymore.

I’m selfish. really selfish.
I’m actually someone who is afraid of changes.
So when i find out people changed, especially friends, which leads to our friendship being affected, I get emo.
I feel that my friends are leaving me because I didn’t put in effort to keep them by my side
it always happen. always.

很怕朋友离开我的感觉。真的很怕。
对没有自信与勇气的自己感到非常生气和失望。

什么都做不好的我没有资格有朋友吧。
没有资格让朋友留在自己的身边。
每一次都是这样。

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Nakama?

  1. Cheer up! I’ve the same issue as you. You’re not alone.
    But in my case, I know that even if I try to keep them by my side, I would also be unhappy. I don’t know why…but I always felt left out. Sometimes it’s the different lifestyles that they are leading that could cause us not to put in effort in the friendship anymore. The fear of dissappintments and rejection is so overwhelming that perhaps it’s better to just things to play out by itself. No one is always strong, every one have their fair share of being weak. Don’t let this issue put you down.

    xx, your avid reader

  2. Strength and courage don’t come cheap, but they’re well worth the price in the end. I do offer help and “classes” on these, feel free to sign up ^ ^

  3. <3 Don't worry about it so much lovely.
    I've been the same thing as well. The bitter taste of regret that you didn't do more to try and stay in touch with the other person.

    But people inevitably drift apart. Relationships change. Some disappear. But there is always proof that the relationship once existed~

    In my own honest humble opinion. A relationship is a two-way street and if the person in question can't be bothered to put the effort into keeping in contact with you it ends up being a one-way relationship.

    It's like playing table-tennis with yourself. There's only so much you can do by yourself.

    So don't let it get you down too much.

    You never know who you'll meet tomorrow after all FINALLY full version of Nakama is out 8D >/// When in doubt. Watch Gintama. Gintoki is very wise >8DD j/k <3

    • thank you so much dear~<333 *v*
      I can't let my friends put effort into the friendship while I drift away from them just because i am not strong enough.
      Will hold on to them as they are important to me too.
      yes Gintama is always my cure for emo-ness. <333

      *mega huggies*

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s